Postgrad life is tough enough and a lot of the time, parents don’t make things any easier. While all of a sudden you find yourself with a lot of free time (sometimes too much to handle), you’re also facing pressure from family and even friends to get the next chapter of your life (or more like the rest of your life) started. It’s a confusing and lonely time full of many changes.
By now you’ve either found yourself settled in on your own in a new city or, like the majority of us, moved back in with your parents. While the clean laundry and home cooked meals can be nice, you also have to deal with daily interactions with parents/guardians who only want the best for you and aren’t afraid to let you know. Every. Waking. Second.
While their words may have good intentions behind them, these phrases become all too familiar and you just don’t want to hear them any more. But don’t worry, you’re not the only one
1. “You’re so lazy.”
Just because you’re stuck at home with no job, doesn’t mean you’re lazy. In fact, anyone who’s seen your email’s outbox and the 20 messages sent to different companies with specifically tailored resumes and cover letters can attest to that fact. Being unemployed and looking for jobs is hard work, and a full-time job in itself that easily takes up to 40 hours a week if you’re dedicated enough.
2. “You know Barbara’s cousin’s neighbour’s daughter’s friend just got a full-time job and she had the same major as you.”
There’s nothing worse than comparisons. You’re already reminded of all the people and classmates who are more “successful” than you with every Facebook status and LinkedIn update. The real world isn’t like school when everyone enters sophomore year at the same time. Not everyone has the same career goals and is looking for the same job. It’s cool, take your time and don’t worry about how others are doing.
3. “You can’t live at home with us forever.”
The last thing a 22-year-old wants is to be living under their parent’s roof (with their parents rules). While your parents may have been hesitant to let you fly from the nest when leaving for college, after four years they’ve grown accustomed to focusing on themselves and not having to clean, feed and look after their child. Even though your life choices may say otherwise, in their eyes you are a grown up now. Your parents want what’s best for you. And that includes a place of your own. Moving out is probably a high priority for you but while your heart says yes, t your wallet is screaming no. Put some extra time in commuting to work from home and save, save, save while you still can.
4. “It’s been __ months since your graduation.”
Is there a ticking time bomb no one old us about that’s going to go off if we don’t get a job exactly six months after graduation? The worst thing that’ll happen is the increase of your student loan interest. But other than that inevitable consequence, take your time. Grow up at your own pace and not one that society deems is right. You’re only young and free with no commitments for a short period of your life, so might as well embrace the freedom you have now. Take this time to explore both who you are and the world.
5. “You need to start acting like an adult and get your life together.”
Your college roommate may have been okay with you stumbling in at 4am and running straight to the toilet but your parents probably aren’t as cool with it. In fact to them, this usually viewed as childish behaviour. But just because you’ve got a degree or diploma with your name on it, doesn’t mean you have to stop having fun. And just because you make a mistake every now and then doesn’t mean your life is in shambles. Eventually you will have to accept more responsibilities that are more important than doing this weekend’s liquor run, but that doesn’t have to happen right now.
As published on Thought Catalog.